Anxiety and old "friends"

Today I was meant to be on an audition panel at my local theatre. The auditions are for this years pantomime and one of my closest friends, Robert, is directing. I was quite looking forward to getting out of the house and doing something, until I found out that "she" was going to be there.

"She" was my maid of honour, much older than me - 50 - but a good friend and always so funny but when we got involved in a production together she became so unreasonable and we had a massive falling out, I won't bore you with the details.

We made up and I asked her to be my prompt for the show I directed and guess what - "she" tried to get her claws into my show too and started to direct from the prompts chair. I asked her not too, so "she" insulted me in front of the cast. Immature, huh?

I was so upset by this that I lost my confidence and ended up not directing the show, I brought in Robert to help me.

Since this incident we haven't really talked, I get panicky if I see "her" and if I know "she'll" be somewhere I struggle to want to go out.

Well... Robert invited "her" onto the casting committee today as well. Thanks for that.
I can't believe he did it, he knows how uncomfortable "she" makes me, I have been close to full on panic attacks when "she's" there and he's seen that.

So, that was a long story to say that that one little incident (me seeing on my email that"she" was going to be there today) has made me feel really, really shit.

Gary is down there now explaining and making my excuses to Robert. Feel so debilitated right now.

Love and Best Wishes
Stace