My very own Dementor

Hey,

For those who haven't read the Harry Potter books this may be lost on you but I will try to explain.

For the last couple of months I have been feeling like someone is right behind me all the time. It's worse when I'm down but always there.

I realise that everyone has that odd feeling like someones watching them every now and then but I can't shift it.

It scares me when its dark and just worries me when its light. Its hard to talk about with anyone without seeming delusional, but I'm not. I know nothing is there - it just feels like there is.

Anyway, JK Rowling describes the Dementors in Harry Potter as the foulest creatures that walk this earth, if you get too near one it will suck every good feeling out of you, and if you let it it will feed on you until you are reduced to nothing, soulless, with nothing but bad memories.

When I read this, although I have read it (many times) before, I cried and cried because suddenly I could not shake the idea that this presence was a Dementor (because after all Dementors are invisible to muggles "humans").

I feel so depressed so much of the time and no matter how hard I try, I can't conjure any happy thoughts to conquer it.

I know this all sounds ridiculous and I don't really think a dementor is following me, I just found the description to be accurate to how I feel and the fact that I see no end in sight, no break from this illness and if continued I will become a shell.

I have few friends, a family who refuse to understand, no hobbies because I can't do them anymore, no career, no social life and I am very lonely. Things are also starting to feel a bit stretched at home but I'm sure it's just a blip.

Love and Best Wishes

Stace