New Psychiatrist and Diagnosis Change(?)

So I went to my appointment today, nervous as usual and expecting to see my usual psych but to my surprise I was called in to see the consultant psychiatrist (I'm not too sure what I did to warrant such an upgrade). He was really nice, had to give my history again for the 5th time in my life as a mental, I don't know why they don't have it in my file - I feel like a skipping record sometimes. Anyway, to get to my point, he seems genuinely concerned as to my mental wellbeing which is always a plus in a psychiatrist, dontcha think?!

However at the end of my appointment after having to regale him with the stories off my recent psychotic episode I stupidly asked "do you think my diagnosis is correct?" His reply was worrying. He's basically not sure, said that I wasn't a nice little package. Hmm, ambiguous! Wish I could have heard what he was thinking, I mean on a scale of 1 to 10 how insane does he think I am? If the definition of insanity is mental derangement - I'm your gal, it's just a case of how insane.

I'm still hearing voices on and off, getting kind of worried, they really seem determined to hang around and piss me off. I'm ignoring them, but its hard, like having a mosquito buzzing round your head all day. Only it's louder and speaking English!! Got a headache at the moment. There is a saying that I particularly like - "I have my own little world - but it's okay they know me here". The voices are sometimes too unkind for me to feel exactly like that way - but I get it!

Time for an early night after last night's lack of sleep. Just crossing my fingers that I can get to sleep. My dose of Quetiapine has been upped so theoretically shouldn't be a problem.

Oh and I'm going back to grading films.

Love and Best Wishes
Stace xx

The Soloist - 8/10. An honest look at mental health and homelessness. Fantastic performances and a wonderful score.